The Digital World is Working to Keep Kids Safe Online

Recently Childhelp blogged about "Keeping Your Kids Safe on Facebook" and reported of Facebook’s current 900 million users, an estimated 7.5 million are under the age of 13, and 5 million are under the age of 10. The blog went on to give great tips to keep your kids safe on Facebook such as:

• Know their password,
• Be their friend,
• Monitor their friend list,
• Keep up with new Facebook features

One thing they didn’t discuss however, was what to do if your child is being bullied on Facebook. Sadly, we know tweens and teens aren’t just being bullied at school these days, they’re also being bullied online. Some call it social terrorism, and with nearly half of all tweens and teens experiencing some sort of online harassment or cyberbullying, it’s time to learn more about it and how to respond to it.

Learning how to stop cyberbullying is essential, but getting teens to talk about online safety may prove challenging. Fortunately, the one place many tweens and teens seem to feel comfortable having conversations and expressing themselves is helping everyone learn to navigate the net a little safer. The Facebook Family Safety Center is now helping teens and parents everywhere by teaching digital safety and responsibility.

Teens, parents, teachers and even law enforcement officers can benefit from the Facebook Family Safety Center. While many are familiar with terms like social networking and online privacy settings, others may need a refresher in concepts like digital citizenship, social reporting and secure browsing.

The Safety Center addresses many topics including: 

• Account safety and security
• Facebook privacy settings
• Online bullying and harassment reporting

Even tweens and teens, who know much more than most parents about the online world of social networking, can learn a thing or two on the page dedicated to them. And if it gets them thinking or talking about online and digital safety, it’s definitely worth a look. 

Have you ever visited the Facebook Family Safety Center? Share what you’ve learned or how it got you thinking about online safety in the comments below.  

Written by Guest Blogger Stacy Pendarvis, MSW, MA of Pendarvis Consulting & Training and former Program Manager for MBF with over 16 years in the child safety and child abuse prevention field.

How to Stop Cyberbullying: Learn Steps to Prevent Online Harrassment

Cyberbullying is a term used to describe a variety of threatening and harassing online behaviors via the internet or cell phone such as lying about, stalking or generally bullying another person. It can include:

• Sending harassing messages
• Posting false information
• Posting private or manipulated pictures
• Encouraging others to bully someone

It can also involve gaining the trust of someone and then using that position to:

• Impersonate them online
• Post their personal information
• Pretend to be them and bully another individual

With nearly half of all tweens and teens experiencing cyberbullying, it is essential for cyberbullying victims to learn to effectively deal with cyberbullies. With these simple but thoughtful steps, tweens, teens and parents can respond effectively to cyberbullies:

1. If a tween or teen is bullied or harassed online, they should not respond. Instead, they should immediately find a safe adult and report the online threat or harassment.  
2. Cyberbullying victims should also block the bully and/or unfriend them so they cannot continue the harassment.
3. Parents should print all correspondence and go to their local law enforcement agency for help.  
4. If the harassment or bullying continues or is coming from multiple sources, it may be necessary to close the victim’s email or Facebook accounts and open new ones, allowing access only to a small, select group of safe friends.  
5. Because cyberbullying has had serious consequences for other children and teens, the emotional damage suffered by victims must be taken seriously. Parents must watch for signs of withdrawal, depression and isolation, and seek professional counseling and support for any child or teen that needs or desires it.  

What is more important as a society is learning to prevent cyberbullying before it ever happens. No one is to blame if they do become a victim, however there are key steps tweens, teens and parents can take to decrease the risk of being harassed or bullied online:

Limit online information and availability. For instance limit your email, social network, newsgroup and blog accounts. If you are unsure of how many accounts you have and where your information is located on the web, conduct a Google search of yourself; the results may surprise you. Eliminate all but essential information and pictures about yourself on the web. Contact your Internet Service Provider if you can’t delete unwanted information yourself.

Don’t provide ammunition. Avoid doing things like sending compromising photos of yourself or allowing access to photos or account passwords or other personal information to anyone, friend or not. Their friend status can change in a hurry and you never know what another person (or their friends) might do.

Be alert to anyone taking your photo in private situations. Photos taken in private places such as locker rooms or bathrooms can always be manipulated or posted online, and are probably not going to be used for anything good. If anyone ever takes a photo in that kind of environment, ask him or her to delete it and ask to see their photo library. If they won’t show you, ask an adult to intervene and report their behavior as harassment and a violation of your privacy.

Practice good “netiquette.” Take a moment before responding to posts either in anger or in a disrespectful way yourself, learn how to use social media sites, such as Facebook, responsibly, and always remember to “do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

No one can ever eliminate the possibility that they will become a victim of a cyberbully, however taking simple, practical steps such as these, and being alert online, can help decrease the risk. Let us know if you have any other cyberbullying prevention tips to share.

Written by Guest Blogger Stacy Pendarvis, MSW, MA of Pendarvis Consulting & Training and former Program Manager for MBF with over 16 years in the child safety and child abuse prevention field.

Play it Safe: Online Gaming Safety Tips

Online gaming is an increasingly popular activity for kids.  It's a way for them to play with friends without having to be face-to-face.  It can serve as entertainment, education and character development for them.  However, it seems lately that these gaming systems that appear to be private and confined to the walls of the home are actually opening the doors to scammers, cyber-bullies and sexual predators.
 
Unless you're using a webcam, there is no way to know exactly who you are talking to over the internet. When kids are using headsets to talk to people they meet on Xbox LIVE or PlayStation 3, the people they are talking to could be living down the street or across the globe. What's more risky is that your children may not personally know who they're talking to; in other words, just as strangers exist in the "real world," strangers also exist online. Though your children's gaming system was provided for innocent entertainment, these online strangers could potentially be bullying, scamming, or even sexually harassing your children.
 
We searched "sexual predators on Xbox LIVE" on Google and 307,000 results popped up! These results included stories or articles related to the newest tool, Xbox LIVE, used to lure in children commonly between the ages of 10 and 14 for sexual favors, to send them explicit photos of themselves, or send invites to meet up with them. According to NetSmartz.org, 97% of online teens, ages 12-17, play computer, online, portable or console games. Of these teens, 27% play games with people they met online.
Today's advancements in technology have fostered a gaming craze among children and teens. If your child participates in online games, take a minutes to catch up with how you can maintain their safety and enjoyment while playing.
 
Today's advancements in technology have fostered a gaming craze among children and teens. If your child participates in online games, take a minute to catch up with how you can maintain their safety and enjoyment while playing.
 
1. Know the risks.
Understand the potential dangers your children face as they play games online.
a. People might befriend your children by trying to earn their trust. Scammers and predators may pretend to be kids themselves, share tips on how to win, or give gifts like points or virtual goods.
b. Some gamers play to bully, taunt, and harass others with bad language, cheating, or inappropriate attacks.
c. Good downloads may carry bad content; when kids download games from non-reputable sites through links they may also download offensive content, spam, or malicious software.
 
2. Take advantage of technology.
Most popular games come equipped with parental controls.
a. Websites generally devote a section to parents and provide assistance with setting up controls.
b. Almost every game has a chat filter option available. Go to the options or settings of the game and look for these filters; more than likely a “profanity filter” will be available, so make sure it is enabled.
c. Many computer operating systems, including Microsoft, have family safety settings available to help protect kids. These tools help you specify the types of games your kids can play, monitor who children talk to and how, set time limits, and control what your kids see and share while gaming. Learn how to enable these controls and explain to your children what they are for – for example, they are not set up to spy on them, but to keep them safe.
d. Report any improper or suspicious content or behavior; ask your children to ignore or block any players that have shown hostility, pressured your child for information, or have sent or requested explicit or inappropriate materials. Immediately report any serious threats or harassment to the local police.
e. If the game your child has chosen doesn’t have monitors built in, check out TimesUpKidz or KidsWatch, programs that can help you watch how long your child plays.
 
3. Explore the games alongside your children.
Even if they act annoyed, it's crucial to become involved.
a. Sit with your kids while they play or join in the game. You may find it’s a fun activity you can do together while you’re keeping them out of harm’s way. You’ll be able to monitor their interactions with others and guide a potentially harmful situation.
b. Check the ratings of games your children want to play. Most games sold at stores are rated by the Entertainment Software Rating Board (ESRB). These ratings serve as guidelines while discussing with your kids whether the games they want are appropriate or not.
c. Stick to well-known games and games from reputable websites to reduce the risk of scammers. Some popular sites include MSN Games, Xbox LIVE, and Yahoo! Games.
d. Find out the game’s terms of play. Find out how the game service monitors players and how they respond to reports of abuse. Read the site’s privacy policy to learn how it will use and protect your children’s information; if there isn’t one, play somewhere else.
 
4. Talk to your children.
Above all, keep the lines of communication between you and your children open.
a. Celebrate their accomplishments, talk about what they did, and listen for clues about dangerous situations they may have encountered while playing.
 
By teaching your children about the potential dangers surrounding online gaming, they will feel confident in dealing appropriately with dangerous or risky situations. At the Monique Burr Foundation, we are working hard everyday to keep children safe through providing Speak Up Be Safe™, a culturally and developmentally appropriate bullying and child abuse prevention curriculum to 1st through 5th grade students in Florida. The program is helping students, parents, caregivers, and school personnel get the information they need to understand all types of abuse and how to prevent them. The program also helps children recognize and report any unsafe situations or people they may encounter while gaming online.
 
Visit our website to become educated about this program and to help share our message. Thank you for helping us to protect Florida’s children today!

Check out these amazing gaming statistics provided by The Entertainment Software Association.

By Guest Blogger Jackie Wiggens | UF Senior
Sources: Yahoo.com, TheESA.com 

It Takes a Village!

Monroe County, Florida could be considered a model community for using our program, Speak Up Be Safe™ (SUBS) to protect children, doing it in a collaborative and comprehensive way – starting a true community initiative to protect children from bullying and abuse.  In March, after a meeting was arranged for the Monique Burr Foundation for Children (MBF) by the Chief Assistant State Attorney for Monroe County, Manuel Madruga, the Superintendent of Monroe County Schools, Jesus Jara, approved Speak Up Be Safe™ to be implemented in all Monroe County elementary schools.

One month later MBF was back in the Keys, and on April 30^th we trained not only all elementary school counselors, but for the first time in SUBS history, all middle and high school counselors as well. Even more impressive, Manuel Madruga, Jesus Jara, and State Attorney Dennis Ward attended the Facilitator training as well.  Before the end of the school year, Monroe County had provided SUBS to 2,227 students, a great accomplishment in a short time.

A great first step in preventing bullying and abuse; yet Monroe County seemed to want more.  Several recent bullying incidents brought Dennis Ward and Jesus Jara to MBF yet again in a quest for additional bullying resources.  So we’ve added another partner to the Monroe Community Initiative.  This time Jenny Craig, of Live Your Power attended a Bullying Prevention Community Presentation with Lynn Layton, MBF Executive Director and Stacy Pendarvis, MBF Trainer.  Participants attended a two-hour awareness and education seminar at Metropolitan Community Church in Key West on June 25^th where they learned about bullying, cyberbullying and learned practical, effective solutions.

Monroe County Schools has now asked MBF for a bullying awareness and education training at the beginning of the school year for all teachers/staff and is considering implementing the Live Your Power bullying prevention curriculum for middle and high schools.  This is truly a community working together to protect their kids and prevent bullying and abuse.  It takes a village and Monroe County knows and is living it!

Click here for more resources.

Click here for more information on Speak Up Be Safe™.

Written by Guest Blogger Stacy Pendarvis, MSW, MA of Pendarvis Consulting & Training and former Program Manager for MBF with over 16 years in the child safety and child abuse prevention field.

Teacher Goes Too Far in Bullying Incident

Bullying has become one of the most talked about subjects in and about schools throughout the US, and it should be. If you’ve been following our blog, you’ve read the statistics and stories and you know what a problem bullying has become.

According to Kidpower:

·      160,000 kids stay home from school each day because they are bullied;

·      83% of bullying incidents receive no intervention and continue to happen;

·      Only half of educators have received training on how to handle bullying situations.

Consider the consequences of those statistics in schools. Millions of students each year are victimized, yet educators are not being taught how to deal with such behavior and the outcomes are often tragic.

In San Antonio, a kindergarten teacher unprepared to handle such situations dealt with a child that she labeled a bully in a most egregious way. She had every other student in the class hit the child she considered the bully (some more than once, and many against their wishes) to teach him a lesson. Worse still, the event went unreported by the children – and another teacher who witnessed the incident – for two weeks. You can read the entire story and the district’s response here.

It is likely that education and awareness could have prevented this incident from ever happening; and, had it not, it is probable based on recent research that someone would have then told a safe adult what had happened that same day.  A 2010 Campbell Systematic Review of School-Based Bullying Prevention Programs showed that many school prevention programs are effective at both reducing bullying and changing the overall school climate.

The Monique Burr Foundation for Children’s program, Speak Up Be Safe™, is a national bullying and child abuse prevention program currently available to all Florida elementary schools in an effort to help 1^st through 5^th grade students learn to prevent and better manage bullying and to help school administrators and personnel learn to manage and minimize the consequences of bullying. Although Speak Up Be Safe™ (SUBS) was too new to be included in this evaluation, it includes many of the same components that led to the favorable review of other programs. Thus, when used in schools, SUBS will also educate both students and school personnel on more effective ways to deal with bullying behavior – and it is available to all Florida schools, at no cost, NOW.

For more information on SUBS and how to receive training or implement the program, please visit our website.

Written by Guest Blogger Stacy Pendarvis, MSW, MA of Pendarvis Consulting & Training and former Program Manager for MBF with over 16 years in the child safety and child abuse prevention field.

Florida Schools Have the Opportunity to Help Keep Kids Safe with Speak Up Be Safe™ Program!

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Internet sex sting operations are nothing new. Yet again, there was another news story recently and sadly one of the arrests was a 5^th grade teacher at Lawton Chiles Elementary School in Orlando.  While there is no report that this teacher ever harmed a child at that school, this type of report always raises a concern about sexually abusive behavior for parents and school personnel.

So the question then becomes what do we do to make sure our kids are safe at school? All Florida elementary schools, including Orange County Schools, have a prevention program available to them at no cost that may help prevent the sexual abuse and exploitation of children.

Speak Up Be Safe™ (SUBS) is a national bullying and child abuse prevention program that teaches kids what is safe and unsafe behavior.  The program also teaches kids to use the 5 SUBS Safety Rules which include:

1)    It’s my body

2)    Ask an adult if I’m safe

3)    I have choices

4)    Tell Someone

5)    It’s never my fault.

Additionally, facilitators (generally guidance counselors) are trained in topics such as:

·      Child abuse indicators

·      Recognizing signs of sexual abuse, exploitation and grooming behaviors

·      Mandatory reporting

·      Bullying, Cyberbullying and digital abuse

and they are given tools and resources to further educate their school peers and personnel as well as parents.  Using the knowledge gained in their training and the resources they are given, school personnel are informed and empowered and would hopefully recognize any attempt by a teacher or other adult to sexually exploit or abuse a child. Children, armed with the information provided in the curriculum, would also hopefully recognize unsafe behaviors by an adult and would rely on the 5 SUBS safety rules to have the adults in their lives help them be safe!

For additional training or for middle and high schools where SUBS is not available, another safety program exists. You can find more information here.  Together, the Monique Burr Foundation for Children, Inc., and Florida’s schools, can protect Florida’s children now! Visit our website to learn more or to get SUBS into your school district.

Bullying is Happening All Around

13 million students will be bullied in the US this year. Given those numbers it’s hard to imagine that some people don’t see bullying as a real problem, but it is happening all around. Many parents don’t think bullying exists in their child’s school. Some teachers as well often believe bullying isn’t a behavior worthy of their intervention. For example, in one study, 25% of teachers saw nothing wrong with bullying, and consequently intervened in only 4% of bullying incidents.

But bullying is a real problem, with real consequences. Even to those not being bullied, they see it and they feel the consequences.

Here is a poem written by Emily, a 15 year-old High School Student:

It’s time we all realize bullying is a real problem in every school and we must do more to stop it.  But we must do more than just react to bullying after the fact. We must speak up and prevent bullying from happening in the first place. As Emily says, “we need to stand up and get this message spread.” What will you do to spread the message of bullying prevention? If you need some ideas, check out the MBF – Speak Up Be Safe Resources page.

Written by: Stacy Pendarvis