Identifying, Intervening, Surviving, and Preventing Bullying – A Series: Bully Bystanders - How and Why Other Students Should Intervene

Imagine if there was a simple solution to bullying. Maybe there is. In 85% of bullying incidents at schools, there are other children around, bystanders, watching and not acting. Now imagine if in those instances those bystanders did act. In 57% of cases when bystanders get involved, the bullying stops within 10 seconds. In other words, bystanders could most likely stop at least half of bullying incidents just by intervening when they see bullying occur.

Yet we know in most cases bystanders don’t act. Why?  

• Students may or may not know what bullying is
• They may fear also becoming a victim of the bully, now or in the future
•  They may believe no one will help and the situation will only get worse
• Their own friends may pressure them not to do anything to help the victim
•  They may think it’s none of their business
• They may think their actions will make it worse for the victim
• They may not like the victim
• They may think acting is somehow tattling on the bully who may be a friend or part of the “in” crowd
• They may fear their own social status will be compromised by intervening
• They may actually approve of bullying

There is also a social phenomenon known as the bystander effect. When there is a group of people watching something bad or someone being harmed, there is a diffusion of responsibility and each individual simply thinks someone else will intervene or report the issue, car crash, bullying incident, etc. Often then, no one acts.

So how do we get students to be active rather than passive bystanders?  First, schools must be involved as well as students. Schools need to create the right type of environment for students to be positive and active bystanders.

Positive bystander intervention programs for schools typically include the following tasks:

• Creating and nurturing a caring school climate
•  Teaching students to recognize bullying incidents
• Teaching students to distinguish between tattling and reporting
• Teaching students how to report
• Teaching students to develop empathy for victims
• Empowering students to act with positive conflict resolution skills

Regardless of whether a school has a bystander intervention program, students can still get involved! There are many things children can do to be active and involved when witnessing bullying incidents rather than being passive bystanders.

Remember the following steps if you witness bullying occur:

1. Determine if the behavior is truly bullying. First determine if the behavior 

    you are witnessing is bullying or if two students are simply teasing one   

    another or arguing. (If you determine you are witnessing two students 

    fighting, teasing or arguing, you may decide it would be better to let them 

    work it out or to go find a teacher or other adult to intervene).

2. If it is bullying, determine your response.

• Intervene while the bullying is occurring and stand up for the victim. Remember that in over half the incidents when someone does this, the bullying stops within 10 seconds. If you feel you have the courage to do this, it is often the best choice.
• Reach out to the victim later. Be a support person or friend. Often students are victimized because they are socially isolated and have few if any friends. If you support them and strategize with them, this alone may cause the bully to leave them alone. Or it may give the victim the courage to stand up for themselves or to tell their parents or another school staff person.
• Talk to the bully. If the bully is someone you know and you feel safe doing this, it may be an option for you to say, “you know bullying is wrong and you really should stop,” or “I will have to report it to get you some help.”
•  Ignore the incident and encourage others to move away as well. Often if there is no audience, there is no bullying. So if you can break up the audience and move them away, sometimes you can stop the bullying incident.

Remember these tips regarding intervening when you see bullying:

• No one deserves to be hurt – physically or mentally. Most people have heard the saying, “sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me," but it really isn’t true. Social and emotional bullying are just as bad as physical incidents. All bullying is wrong and school should be a safe place for everyone. We should all remember the golden rule – “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” and intervene to stop bullying when we see it occurring.

• Remember that telling someone is not tattling! Toddlers tattle, while kids and teens report poor choices to get people help, and because it's the right thing to do. Remember too that the bully is often striking out at others because they need help for their emotions or unmet needs. Reporting their behavior is not only getting help for the victim, but for the bully as well.

• Silence may be desired in the classrooms, but not about bullying! It takes everyone working together to stop bullying. You have to find the courage to speak up, either to the bully, the victim, to school staff, or better yet, to all three! 

Stay tuned for the next post which will list some fantastic resources for parents and schools as well as some of my favorite websites for kids and teens. These resources will help you if you are a victim or a bystander, or just want to be better prepared to intervene if you ever need to!

Sources:

Teachsafeschools.org

NCAB.org/au

The Penn State Scandal and Child Abuse: “Turning Reaction Into Real Action”

Everyone is talking about the Penn State scandal, as they should be.  The range of emotions expressed by citizens across the US run the gamut - some are outraged, some are supportive of Coach Paterno, which has others even more outraged, some are just in shock that this would happen and go unreported, some are just saddened that kids suffer such horrendous acts at the hands of the very adults that are supposed to care for and protect them in the first place.

But it’s time to turn all of that emotional reaction into real action to protect kids.  We can spend our time ranting about the actions (or inactions) of those individuals at Penn State (and I’d be lying if I didn’t admit as humans and as child advocates we’ve done our fair share of that privately), or we can make a conscious choice as a State and as a Nation to take this tragedy and do something, together, for once to better the lives of children in a very real, very now way!

Child sexual abuse and exploitation is a very real and dangerous problem in our world, and yes it is happening in your neighborhood too!  It happens for a variety of reasons and people turn their heads for a variety of reasons as well: denial, lack of education, fear, economic security.  The numbers vary depending on what study you are quoting, but experts tend to agree that approximately 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys will be sexually abused by the time they turn 18.  So to put that into perspective, look at the average classroom in the US with about 20 kids and 4 kids in that class are, or will become a victim.  It’s sickening and it’s heartbreaking.  What it should be is motivating – but to most people – it just stops at sickening and heartbreaking.  But let’s change that! Let’s take this current level of awareness and motivation in the US and let’s move beyond sickness and heartbreak and let’s all make a commitment to do something to protect children!

First, all citizens should be aware of the signs and symptoms of child abuse and neglect (and not just child sexual abuse) and should know where and how to report suspicions of abuse if they suspect it. We should all think of reporting as a form of prevention. It stops the abuse for the current victim and it prevents abuse for future victims.  In Florida, every citizen is a mandatory reporter, as is every citizen in 17 other states.  But whether you are mandated to report or not, it’s just the right thing to do!  To learn the signs and symptoms of abuse or neglect or how to report abuse in Florida, visit: Monique Burr Foundation Resources.

If you are not in Florida and you want to know your state’s statute on reporting and how to report, you can visit this website hosted by The Child Welfare Information Gateway to find out more information.  If your state law does not require every citizen to be a mandatory reporter, contact your state legislators and ask them to change the law immediately.

Secondly, prevention education needs to be a priority.  The US is a reactive society and we need to become a preventive society. With over 3.2 million reports of child abuse annually (and more abuse that goes unreported) this is an issue of public health crisis proportion with long-term negative health, mental health and societal consequences that last well into adulthood. However, there is ample research that shows prevention programs targeted at both children and adults is effective for primary and secondary prevention of child abuse and child sexual abuse.

In Florida, the legislature has mandated child abuse prevention education for all of Florida’s children through Florida Statute 39.  In response to that unfunded mandate, the Monique Burr Foundation for Children is providing a curriculum, Speak Up Be Safe™ (SUBS), as the Florida Department of Education approved safety and child abuse prevention program at no cost to public schools through active fundraising.  The SUBS curriculum also includes bullying, cyberbullying and technology safety information to help avoid and prevent other tragedies as well.

According to Finkelhor (2007), arguments against prevention education for children are unfounded and “the weight of currently available evidence shows that it is worth providing children with high-quality prevention education programs”, stating that “much research has suggested that children acquire the concepts; some research has suggested the programs promote disclosure and one study found lower rates of victimization for children who were exposed to these programs.” Finkelhor goes on to say despite arguments to the contrary, “a majority of reviews have found that children at all ages do acquire the key concepts that are being taught. In fact, younger children show more learning than older children.” And since we know the majority of abuse occurs in children under the age of 11, SUBS is taught to that target audience.

Speak Up Be Safe™ also follows the empirical findings and policy suggestions set forth in previous research¹ to ensure the maximum efficacy and safety benefits for children in prevention programs. 

·      Programs are more effective when they occur on multiple occasions.

·      Programs are more effective when they allow children opportunities to practice skills.

·      Programs are more effective when they involve parents.

·      Programs should devote more emphasis to bullying prevention.

To move from the reactive society toward the preventive society mentioned earlier, EVERY school in Florida needs to implement SUBS in EVERY 1^st – 5^th grade classroom to get this essential information to EVERY child.  And the Monique Burr Foundation for Children needs EVERY citizen’s help to accomplish this.

Parents can inquire directly with their school or district to see if they are participating in the Speak Up Be Safe™ program and if not, request the program be used in their school.  Schools and districts can request SUBS and can include the program as a part of their standardized Guidance and Health curriculum to ensure uniform implementation across their district.  Community members and organizations can assist the Monique Burr Foundation and schools and districts with financial and implementation support. 

We must all work together to be successful in protecting kids, but the key is, THE TIME IS NOW.  We MUST Speak Up now to Keep Florida’s Kids Safe!  Contact us for more information at www.MoniqueBurrFoundation.org/SUBS.

Finkelhor, D. (2007). Prevention of Sexual Abuse Through Educational Programs Directed Toward Children. Pediatrics, 120(3): 640-645. Downloaded from http://www.unh.edu/ccrc/prevention/papers.html on November 15, 2011.

¹Finkelhor, D. & Dziuba-Leatherman, J. (1994). Victimization Prevention Programs: A National Survey of Children’s Exposure and Reactions. Child Abuse and Neglect, 19,(2):129-139. Downloaded from http://www.unh.edu/ccrc/prevention/papers.html on November 15, 2011.