Teacher Goes Too Far in Bullying Incident

Bullying has become one of the most talked about subjects in and about schools throughout the US, and it should be. If you’ve been following our blog, you’ve read the statistics and stories and you know what a problem bullying has become.

According to Kidpower:

·      160,000 kids stay home from school each day because they are bullied;

·      83% of bullying incidents receive no intervention and continue to happen;

·      Only half of educators have received training on how to handle bullying situations.

Consider the consequences of those statistics in schools. Millions of students each year are victimized, yet educators are not being taught how to deal with such behavior and the outcomes are often tragic.

In San Antonio, a kindergarten teacher unprepared to handle such situations dealt with a child that she labeled a bully in a most egregious way. She had every other student in the class hit the child she considered the bully (some more than once, and many against their wishes) to teach him a lesson. Worse still, the event went unreported by the children – and another teacher who witnessed the incident – for two weeks. You can read the entire story and the district’s response here.

It is likely that education and awareness could have prevented this incident from ever happening; and, had it not, it is probable based on recent research that someone would have then told a safe adult what had happened that same day.  A 2010 Campbell Systematic Review of School-Based Bullying Prevention Programs showed that many school prevention programs are effective at both reducing bullying and changing the overall school climate.

The Monique Burr Foundation for Children’s program, Speak Up Be Safe™, is a national bullying and child abuse prevention program currently available to all Florida elementary schools in an effort to help 1^st through 5^th grade students learn to prevent and better manage bullying and to help school administrators and personnel learn to manage and minimize the consequences of bullying. Although Speak Up Be Safe™ (SUBS) was too new to be included in this evaluation, it includes many of the same components that led to the favorable review of other programs. Thus, when used in schools, SUBS will also educate both students and school personnel on more effective ways to deal with bullying behavior – and it is available to all Florida schools, at no cost, NOW.

For more information on SUBS and how to receive training or implement the program, please visit our website.

Written by Guest Blogger Stacy Pendarvis, MSW, MA of Pendarvis Consulting & Training and former Program Manager for MBF with over 16 years in the child safety and child abuse prevention field.

12 Ways to Show Your Kids You Care and Build a Capacity to Prevent Abuse and Bullying at the Same Time

The month of February is mainly about the feelings of care and love for your friends and family. When we think of February, we mainly think of celebrating Valentine’s day one of two ways: 1) when we were in elementary school and gave cheesy cards to our classmates and 2) celebrating a romantic night with your loved one. However, spending Valentine’s day doesn’t have to be solely dedicated to your spouse. It can also be a good time to really show your kids how much you love them and care for them.  Ladies’ Home Journal has some great tips on how to connect with your kids that I’d like to share and some of our tips (http://www.lhj.com/relationships/family/raising-kids/25-ways-to-show-your-kids-you-love-them/):

·       Spend time alone with each of your children. Go out to lunch, take a leisurely walk,  read “just one more book”, view photo albums and baby books, get messy with your kids or just hang out together letting them know you value them as individuals.

·       Nurture self-esteem and self-confidence by praising good effort and a job well done, not just results- allow them to choose their own clothes, wear the “jewels” your children made for you or the picture they drew for you.

·       Celebrate everyday accomplishments. Make a special dinner with your child as the guest of honor to toast losing a tooth, making the soccer team, getting an A on a science paper, and more.

·       Teach children to think positive by being positive. Instead of noting how dirty they are when they come in for dinner, say, "Looks like you had a great time!" or Instead of saying, "You're doing it wrong," when your child makes a mistake, try saying "Why don't you try it this way."

·       Tell them how wonderful it is being their parent and how much you like the way they're growing up.

·       Bend the rules. Let your children put on their boots and jump in the puddles you usually tell them to avoid.

·       Eat dinner together even if it's just once a week. Take turns sharing your week's accomplishments.

·       Let your children overhear you complimenting them to someone else.

·       Try not to do all the things your parents did that you vowed never to do to your children.

·       Get to know their schedules, friends, and teachers so you can ask, "Did you and Sam sit together at lunch today?" or "What did Mr. Rogers sing in music class?" instead of simply, "What did you do today?" and know what is going on around them or what they learned at school.

·       Teach them about bullying and child abuse and how to recognize when something is not right.

·       Hug them, kiss them, and say, "I love you" every day, no matter what. Kids thrive on it and it's a daily fix we all need no matter what our age. Creating a secret word, sign, or gesture of affection that only you and your child share.

 Speak Up Be Safe™ (SUBS), the bullying and child abuse prevention curriculum being distributed throughout Florida in public elementary schools by the Monique Burr Foundation for Children, is helping students, parents/ caregivers, and school personnel get the information they need to understand what abuse and bullying is and how to prevent it. By educating your child on bullying, they will feel cared about and gain trust in you. They will not be afraid to speak up.  Nothing is more precious than the lives of your children. Show your love by educating your child rather than thinking it won’t happen to them. Learn more about SUBS and how you can help us get this message out and show your love for your children at www.MoniqueBurrFoundation.org. Join us and help us protect Florida’s children today! - watch for our follow up article on this topic and how it relates to preventing child abuse!

Guest Blogger:

Jackie Wiggins

Senior UNF Intern 

Do we need more awareness or do we need action to protect children from child sexual abuse?

Syracuse basketball coach Jim Boeheim said last week he wants to work toward increasing awareness of child abuse.  A generous and thoughtful gesture to be sure, however I’d like to take a moment to point out some previous efforts at awareness and ask if more awareness is really what we need? 

In 1986 Oprah revealed her own childhood sexual abuse to her audience and in 2010 after Tyler Perry revealed his abuse on the Oprah show, Oprah hosted a 2-day event, “200 Adult Men who were Molested Come Forward.” And the awareness hasn’t stopped there.  This year alone several celebrities have published books revealing their own childhood sexual abuse and rape, including Shania Twain, Sugar Ray Leonard and Ashley Judd to name just a few.

In the United States there were slightly fewer than 66,000 reports of sexual abuse in 2009.   However, according to several experts in the field, only between 12% (Hanson, 1999) and 30% of child sexual abuse cases (Finkelhor, 2008) are ever reported to authorities, therefore, the actual number of children sexually abused each year in the US is more likely to be between 220,000 and 550,000.

According to the most widely quoted statistic in the field taken from retrospective studies, 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys will be sexually abused by their 18^th birthday (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2006), this means there are more than 42 million adult survivors of child sexual abuse in the U.S.  And considering we have, as of the 2010 census, 74,181,467 citizens under 18 in our country, and we look at an average of 1 in 5 children, if 1 out of every 5 of them are or will be sexually abused, that potentially could be….. almost 15 million children that will be sexually abused before they are 18. Really? According to Darkness to Light, “Even if the true prevalence of child sexual abuse is not known, most will agree that there will be 500,000 babies born in the US this year that will be sexually abused before they turn 18 if we do not prevent it.”

So clearly awareness is needed! But when is enough awareness enough?  Do we think people know by now that adults are using children for sexual gratification in our country?  People have known for years that adults are neglecting and physically abusing kids… and yet that continues; so the question now becomes – are they aware this type of terrible abuse happens, that voyeurism, taking obscene pictures and indecent liberties, molesting, abusing, and raping children happens? It happens every day in our great nation!  And I would say, most people know it happens.  They know it and they either don’t want to admit it, think it won’t happen to them so they aren’t really concerned about it, they don’t want to talk about it because it is so horrific to think about, or they just simply don’t know what to do about it.

Yes child sexual abuse is real, it happens to real kids who go on to have real problems!  And whether it impacts you directly or indirectly – IT DOES IMPACT YOU! So please, be courageous enough to talk about it and protect kids that are being groomed or victimized.  Do something – anything!

1. Advocate for better child protection laws and prevention programs.
2. Learn the indicators of abuse and speak up when you suspect a child is being maltreated.
3. Learn more about the Monique Burr Foundation team and how we are protecting Florida’s children Now, and about references/research and resources at www.MoniqueBurrFoundation.org/SUBS.
4. Call your school or district to see if our prevention program, Speak Up Be Safe™ (which addresses bullying, and the prevention of all types of child abuse, including child sexual abuse for children and all the relevant adults in their lives), is currently being implemented in elementary schools in your district, and if not tell them you want the program and give them our website!
5. Make a donation to the Monique Burr Foundation for Children so we can continue to advocate for and educate children and communities, and better protect all children!

Because as I said awareness is a generous and thoughtful gesture – but action is real and gets results!  

The Monique Burr Foundation for Children believes in Protecting Florida’s Children – Let’s Do It Now!