Identifying, Intervening, Surviving and Preventing Bullying – A Series: Cyberbullying…When Peers Are Predators Too

Not so long ago we only had to worry about the online threat of strangers.  Predators were those from far away who used technology to gain access to our children and subsequently harm them with abuse and exploitation.  But times have changed and the digital age has opened up a new world where our children’s peers are now predators as well.

Cyberbullying and digital abuse are quickly becoming the main issue facing tweens and teens today.

• 1 out of 5 children is or will be cyberbullied (US Dept. of Justice)

• 43% of teens ages 13 to 17 have experienced cyberbullying in the past year

• 1 million children were cyberbullied on Facebook during the past year

EdTechmagazine.com has created a great infographic that displays just how real and significant cyberbullying is… we encourage you to check it out.

So what exactly is cyberbullying? It is threatening, harassing or aggressive behavior by one or more children or teens toward another using digital technology such as the Internet or cell phones. Unlike bullying, cyberbullying does not have to be a repeated behavior nor does the behavior need to take place between persons of unequal power. 

Cyberbullying can include:

1.     Spreading rumors or posting false information

2.     Sending harassing messages

3.     Posting compromising or altered images

4.     Persuading others to act in this same manner

5.     Posting private information

6.     Bullying others while impersonating the victim

The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children does a great job of explaining cyberbullying through a series of videos titled “Real Life Stories.” These videos feature stories shared by actual teens and are appropriate for tweens and teens, and they are also appropriate for adults who wish to gain a better understanding of cyberbullying and its devastating consequences.

As we learned in a previous post, cyberbullying tends to begin in middle school, increase in the later middle school years and peak in high school, therefore education and prevention must start early and continue throughout all school years.  In the next post, we will examine the signs indicating your child may be the victim of a bully or cyberbully. In future posts, we will also discuss why and how to intervene in bullying situations, share resources for prevention and more.  Check back for future posts so you and your children can become educated and empowered to speak up and stay safe.

The Digital World is Working to Keep Kids Safe Online

Recently Childhelp blogged about "Keeping Your Kids Safe on Facebook" and reported of Facebook’s current 900 million users, an estimated 7.5 million are under the age of 13, and 5 million are under the age of 10. The blog went on to give great tips to keep your kids safe on Facebook such as:

• Know their password,
• Be their friend,
• Monitor their friend list,
• Keep up with new Facebook features

One thing they didn’t discuss however, was what to do if your child is being bullied on Facebook. Sadly, we know tweens and teens aren’t just being bullied at school these days, they’re also being bullied online. Some call it social terrorism, and with nearly half of all tweens and teens experiencing some sort of online harassment or cyberbullying, it’s time to learn more about it and how to respond to it.

Learning how to stop cyberbullying is essential, but getting teens to talk about online safety may prove challenging. Fortunately, the one place many tweens and teens seem to feel comfortable having conversations and expressing themselves is helping everyone learn to navigate the net a little safer. The Facebook Family Safety Center is now helping teens and parents everywhere by teaching digital safety and responsibility.

Teens, parents, teachers and even law enforcement officers can benefit from the Facebook Family Safety Center. While many are familiar with terms like social networking and online privacy settings, others may need a refresher in concepts like digital citizenship, social reporting and secure browsing.

The Safety Center addresses many topics including: 

• Account safety and security
• Facebook privacy settings
• Online bullying and harassment reporting

Even tweens and teens, who know much more than most parents about the online world of social networking, can learn a thing or two on the page dedicated to them. And if it gets them thinking or talking about online and digital safety, it’s definitely worth a look. 

Have you ever visited the Facebook Family Safety Center? Share what you’ve learned or how it got you thinking about online safety in the comments below.  

Written by Guest Blogger Stacy Pendarvis, MSW, MA of Pendarvis Consulting & Training and former Program Manager for MBF with over 16 years in the child safety and child abuse prevention field.

How to Stop Cyberbullying: Learn Steps to Prevent Online Harrassment

Cyberbullying is a term used to describe a variety of threatening and harassing online behaviors via the internet or cell phone such as lying about, stalking or generally bullying another person. It can include:

• Sending harassing messages
• Posting false information
• Posting private or manipulated pictures
• Encouraging others to bully someone

It can also involve gaining the trust of someone and then using that position to:

• Impersonate them online
• Post their personal information
• Pretend to be them and bully another individual

With nearly half of all tweens and teens experiencing cyberbullying, it is essential for cyberbullying victims to learn to effectively deal with cyberbullies. With these simple but thoughtful steps, tweens, teens and parents can respond effectively to cyberbullies:

1. If a tween or teen is bullied or harassed online, they should not respond. Instead, they should immediately find a safe adult and report the online threat or harassment.  
2. Cyberbullying victims should also block the bully and/or unfriend them so they cannot continue the harassment.
3. Parents should print all correspondence and go to their local law enforcement agency for help.  
4. If the harassment or bullying continues or is coming from multiple sources, it may be necessary to close the victim’s email or Facebook accounts and open new ones, allowing access only to a small, select group of safe friends.  
5. Because cyberbullying has had serious consequences for other children and teens, the emotional damage suffered by victims must be taken seriously. Parents must watch for signs of withdrawal, depression and isolation, and seek professional counseling and support for any child or teen that needs or desires it.  

What is more important as a society is learning to prevent cyberbullying before it ever happens. No one is to blame if they do become a victim, however there are key steps tweens, teens and parents can take to decrease the risk of being harassed or bullied online:

Limit online information and availability. For instance limit your email, social network, newsgroup and blog accounts. If you are unsure of how many accounts you have and where your information is located on the web, conduct a Google search of yourself; the results may surprise you. Eliminate all but essential information and pictures about yourself on the web. Contact your Internet Service Provider if you can’t delete unwanted information yourself.

Don’t provide ammunition. Avoid doing things like sending compromising photos of yourself or allowing access to photos or account passwords or other personal information to anyone, friend or not. Their friend status can change in a hurry and you never know what another person (or their friends) might do.

Be alert to anyone taking your photo in private situations. Photos taken in private places such as locker rooms or bathrooms can always be manipulated or posted online, and are probably not going to be used for anything good. If anyone ever takes a photo in that kind of environment, ask him or her to delete it and ask to see their photo library. If they won’t show you, ask an adult to intervene and report their behavior as harassment and a violation of your privacy.

Practice good “netiquette.” Take a moment before responding to posts either in anger or in a disrespectful way yourself, learn how to use social media sites, such as Facebook, responsibly, and always remember to “do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

No one can ever eliminate the possibility that they will become a victim of a cyberbully, however taking simple, practical steps such as these, and being alert online, can help decrease the risk. Let us know if you have any other cyberbullying prevention tips to share.

Written by Guest Blogger Stacy Pendarvis, MSW, MA of Pendarvis Consulting & Training and former Program Manager for MBF with over 16 years in the child safety and child abuse prevention field.

Play it Safe: Online Gaming Safety Tips

Online gaming is an increasingly popular activity for kids.  It's a way for them to play with friends without having to be face-to-face.  It can serve as entertainment, education and character development for them.  However, it seems lately that these gaming systems that appear to be private and confined to the walls of the home are actually opening the doors to scammers, cyber-bullies and sexual predators.
 
Unless you're using a webcam, there is no way to know exactly who you are talking to over the internet. When kids are using headsets to talk to people they meet on Xbox LIVE or PlayStation 3, the people they are talking to could be living down the street or across the globe. What's more risky is that your children may not personally know who they're talking to; in other words, just as strangers exist in the "real world," strangers also exist online. Though your children's gaming system was provided for innocent entertainment, these online strangers could potentially be bullying, scamming, or even sexually harassing your children.
 
We searched "sexual predators on Xbox LIVE" on Google and 307,000 results popped up! These results included stories or articles related to the newest tool, Xbox LIVE, used to lure in children commonly between the ages of 10 and 14 for sexual favors, to send them explicit photos of themselves, or send invites to meet up with them. According to NetSmartz.org, 97% of online teens, ages 12-17, play computer, online, portable or console games. Of these teens, 27% play games with people they met online.
Today's advancements in technology have fostered a gaming craze among children and teens. If your child participates in online games, take a minutes to catch up with how you can maintain their safety and enjoyment while playing.
 
Today's advancements in technology have fostered a gaming craze among children and teens. If your child participates in online games, take a minute to catch up with how you can maintain their safety and enjoyment while playing.
 
1. Know the risks.
Understand the potential dangers your children face as they play games online.
a. People might befriend your children by trying to earn their trust. Scammers and predators may pretend to be kids themselves, share tips on how to win, or give gifts like points or virtual goods.
b. Some gamers play to bully, taunt, and harass others with bad language, cheating, or inappropriate attacks.
c. Good downloads may carry bad content; when kids download games from non-reputable sites through links they may also download offensive content, spam, or malicious software.
 
2. Take advantage of technology.
Most popular games come equipped with parental controls.
a. Websites generally devote a section to parents and provide assistance with setting up controls.
b. Almost every game has a chat filter option available. Go to the options or settings of the game and look for these filters; more than likely a “profanity filter” will be available, so make sure it is enabled.
c. Many computer operating systems, including Microsoft, have family safety settings available to help protect kids. These tools help you specify the types of games your kids can play, monitor who children talk to and how, set time limits, and control what your kids see and share while gaming. Learn how to enable these controls and explain to your children what they are for – for example, they are not set up to spy on them, but to keep them safe.
d. Report any improper or suspicious content or behavior; ask your children to ignore or block any players that have shown hostility, pressured your child for information, or have sent or requested explicit or inappropriate materials. Immediately report any serious threats or harassment to the local police.
e. If the game your child has chosen doesn’t have monitors built in, check out TimesUpKidz or KidsWatch, programs that can help you watch how long your child plays.
 
3. Explore the games alongside your children.
Even if they act annoyed, it's crucial to become involved.
a. Sit with your kids while they play or join in the game. You may find it’s a fun activity you can do together while you’re keeping them out of harm’s way. You’ll be able to monitor their interactions with others and guide a potentially harmful situation.
b. Check the ratings of games your children want to play. Most games sold at stores are rated by the Entertainment Software Rating Board (ESRB). These ratings serve as guidelines while discussing with your kids whether the games they want are appropriate or not.
c. Stick to well-known games and games from reputable websites to reduce the risk of scammers. Some popular sites include MSN Games, Xbox LIVE, and Yahoo! Games.
d. Find out the game’s terms of play. Find out how the game service monitors players and how they respond to reports of abuse. Read the site’s privacy policy to learn how it will use and protect your children’s information; if there isn’t one, play somewhere else.
 
4. Talk to your children.
Above all, keep the lines of communication between you and your children open.
a. Celebrate their accomplishments, talk about what they did, and listen for clues about dangerous situations they may have encountered while playing.
 
By teaching your children about the potential dangers surrounding online gaming, they will feel confident in dealing appropriately with dangerous or risky situations. At the Monique Burr Foundation, we are working hard everyday to keep children safe through providing Speak Up Be Safe™, a culturally and developmentally appropriate bullying and child abuse prevention curriculum to 1st through 5th grade students in Florida. The program is helping students, parents, caregivers, and school personnel get the information they need to understand all types of abuse and how to prevent them. The program also helps children recognize and report any unsafe situations or people they may encounter while gaming online.
 
Visit our website to become educated about this program and to help share our message. Thank you for helping us to protect Florida’s children today!

Check out these amazing gaming statistics provided by The Entertainment Software Association.

By Guest Blogger Jackie Wiggens | UF Senior
Sources: Yahoo.com, TheESA.com 

Bullying is Happening All Around

13 million students will be bullied in the US this year. Given those numbers it’s hard to imagine that some people don’t see bullying as a real problem, but it is happening all around. Many parents don’t think bullying exists in their child’s school. Some teachers as well often believe bullying isn’t a behavior worthy of their intervention. For example, in one study, 25% of teachers saw nothing wrong with bullying, and consequently intervened in only 4% of bullying incidents.

But bullying is a real problem, with real consequences. Even to those not being bullied, they see it and they feel the consequences.

Here is a poem written by Emily, a 15 year-old High School Student:

It’s time we all realize bullying is a real problem in every school and we must do more to stop it.  But we must do more than just react to bullying after the fact. We must speak up and prevent bullying from happening in the first place. As Emily says, “we need to stand up and get this message spread.” What will you do to spread the message of bullying prevention? If you need some ideas, check out the MBF – Speak Up Be Safe Resources page.

Written by: Stacy Pendarvis 

Internet INSECURITY

Many parents are already starting to feel that sense of dread as we move ever closer to the start of the school year.  For some it’s because those expensive school supply lists are beginning to arrive in the mailbox or inbox; for others because we dread the early morning departure or afternoon homework routines. But don’t count summer over just yet. And if your kids are bored, done with camps and vacations, maybe they’ve turned to the computer to fill some time.  If so, make sure you are watching their online activities.

With 90% of children between the ages of 5 and 17 using computers and 1 in 5 youth receiving unwanted sexual solicitations online*, it’s a fact that the Internet is a dangerous place for many children. Yet even more parents are unaware of the dangers faced daily by children online, and of those parents who are aware, they are unsure how to protect children.

So the Monique Burr Foundation for Children, Inc. decided we would help parents, professionals, and anyone interested.  When we joined Childhelp in the development of Speak Up Be Safe, we included Internet Safety and Cyberbullying as a part of the curriculum because of the importance of these topics in the lives of children and teens today.  And how great is it that others are taking notice and acting as well?

Facebook and Time Warner have joined forces to help stop cyberbullying, a real and dangerous threat facing youth today.  Read more about their Initiative, Stop Cyberbullying, Speak Up and their joint efforts here. 

http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.eschoolnews.com%2F2011%2F07%2F25%2Ffacebook-and-time-warner-join-to-stop-cyber-bullying%2F&h=YAQBqhSR-

And although Facebook rules require a teen to be 13 to create a profile, let’s not be that naïve – there are much younger kids on social networking sites and ALL parents need to be educated and vigilant.  Florida’s 1^st through 5^th grade students will learn Internet Safety and Cyberbullying prevention tips as Speak Up Be Safe sessions are implemented in all Florida public schools over the next 5 years.  But why wait? Parents, go to www.moniqueburrfoundation.org to download information and tips so you can become educated and empowered and teach your kids to be smarter and safer online now!

*http://kidsafe.com/freereports/Internet%20STATS%20Presented%20By%20CEN.pdf