Identifying, Intervening, Surviving and Preventing Bullying – A Series: Cyberbullying…When Peers Are Predators Too

Not so long ago we only had to worry about the online threat of strangers.  Predators were those from far away who used technology to gain access to our children and subsequently harm them with abuse and exploitation.  But times have changed and the digital age has opened up a new world where our children’s peers are now predators as well.

Cyberbullying and digital abuse are quickly becoming the main issue facing tweens and teens today.

• 1 out of 5 children is or will be cyberbullied (US Dept. of Justice)

• 43% of teens ages 13 to 17 have experienced cyberbullying in the past year

• 1 million children were cyberbullied on Facebook during the past year

EdTechmagazine.com has created a great infographic that displays just how real and significant cyberbullying is… we encourage you to check it out.

So what exactly is cyberbullying? It is threatening, harassing or aggressive behavior by one or more children or teens toward another using digital technology such as the Internet or cell phones. Unlike bullying, cyberbullying does not have to be a repeated behavior nor does the behavior need to take place between persons of unequal power. 

Cyberbullying can include:

1.     Spreading rumors or posting false information

2.     Sending harassing messages

3.     Posting compromising or altered images

4.     Persuading others to act in this same manner

5.     Posting private information

6.     Bullying others while impersonating the victim

The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children does a great job of explaining cyberbullying through a series of videos titled “Real Life Stories.” These videos feature stories shared by actual teens and are appropriate for tweens and teens, and they are also appropriate for adults who wish to gain a better understanding of cyberbullying and its devastating consequences.

As we learned in a previous post, cyberbullying tends to begin in middle school, increase in the later middle school years and peak in high school, therefore education and prevention must start early and continue throughout all school years.  In the next post, we will examine the signs indicating your child may be the victim of a bully or cyberbully. In future posts, we will also discuss why and how to intervene in bullying situations, share resources for prevention and more.  Check back for future posts so you and your children can become educated and empowered to speak up and stay safe.

The Digital World is Working to Keep Kids Safe Online

Recently Childhelp blogged about "Keeping Your Kids Safe on Facebook" and reported of Facebook’s current 900 million users, an estimated 7.5 million are under the age of 13, and 5 million are under the age of 10. The blog went on to give great tips to keep your kids safe on Facebook such as:

• Know their password,
• Be their friend,
• Monitor their friend list,
• Keep up with new Facebook features

One thing they didn’t discuss however, was what to do if your child is being bullied on Facebook. Sadly, we know tweens and teens aren’t just being bullied at school these days, they’re also being bullied online. Some call it social terrorism, and with nearly half of all tweens and teens experiencing some sort of online harassment or cyberbullying, it’s time to learn more about it and how to respond to it.

Learning how to stop cyberbullying is essential, but getting teens to talk about online safety may prove challenging. Fortunately, the one place many tweens and teens seem to feel comfortable having conversations and expressing themselves is helping everyone learn to navigate the net a little safer. The Facebook Family Safety Center is now helping teens and parents everywhere by teaching digital safety and responsibility.

Teens, parents, teachers and even law enforcement officers can benefit from the Facebook Family Safety Center. While many are familiar with terms like social networking and online privacy settings, others may need a refresher in concepts like digital citizenship, social reporting and secure browsing.

The Safety Center addresses many topics including: 

• Account safety and security
• Facebook privacy settings
• Online bullying and harassment reporting

Even tweens and teens, who know much more than most parents about the online world of social networking, can learn a thing or two on the page dedicated to them. And if it gets them thinking or talking about online and digital safety, it’s definitely worth a look. 

Have you ever visited the Facebook Family Safety Center? Share what you’ve learned or how it got you thinking about online safety in the comments below.  

Written by Guest Blogger Stacy Pendarvis, MSW, MA of Pendarvis Consulting & Training and former Program Manager for MBF with over 16 years in the child safety and child abuse prevention field.

How to Stop Cyberbullying: Learn Steps to Prevent Online Harrassment

Cyberbullying is a term used to describe a variety of threatening and harassing online behaviors via the internet or cell phone such as lying about, stalking or generally bullying another person. It can include:

• Sending harassing messages
• Posting false information
• Posting private or manipulated pictures
• Encouraging others to bully someone

It can also involve gaining the trust of someone and then using that position to:

• Impersonate them online
• Post their personal information
• Pretend to be them and bully another individual

With nearly half of all tweens and teens experiencing cyberbullying, it is essential for cyberbullying victims to learn to effectively deal with cyberbullies. With these simple but thoughtful steps, tweens, teens and parents can respond effectively to cyberbullies:

1. If a tween or teen is bullied or harassed online, they should not respond. Instead, they should immediately find a safe adult and report the online threat or harassment.  
2. Cyberbullying victims should also block the bully and/or unfriend them so they cannot continue the harassment.
3. Parents should print all correspondence and go to their local law enforcement agency for help.  
4. If the harassment or bullying continues or is coming from multiple sources, it may be necessary to close the victim’s email or Facebook accounts and open new ones, allowing access only to a small, select group of safe friends.  
5. Because cyberbullying has had serious consequences for other children and teens, the emotional damage suffered by victims must be taken seriously. Parents must watch for signs of withdrawal, depression and isolation, and seek professional counseling and support for any child or teen that needs or desires it.  

What is more important as a society is learning to prevent cyberbullying before it ever happens. No one is to blame if they do become a victim, however there are key steps tweens, teens and parents can take to decrease the risk of being harassed or bullied online:

Limit online information and availability. For instance limit your email, social network, newsgroup and blog accounts. If you are unsure of how many accounts you have and where your information is located on the web, conduct a Google search of yourself; the results may surprise you. Eliminate all but essential information and pictures about yourself on the web. Contact your Internet Service Provider if you can’t delete unwanted information yourself.

Don’t provide ammunition. Avoid doing things like sending compromising photos of yourself or allowing access to photos or account passwords or other personal information to anyone, friend or not. Their friend status can change in a hurry and you never know what another person (or their friends) might do.

Be alert to anyone taking your photo in private situations. Photos taken in private places such as locker rooms or bathrooms can always be manipulated or posted online, and are probably not going to be used for anything good. If anyone ever takes a photo in that kind of environment, ask him or her to delete it and ask to see their photo library. If they won’t show you, ask an adult to intervene and report their behavior as harassment and a violation of your privacy.

Practice good “netiquette.” Take a moment before responding to posts either in anger or in a disrespectful way yourself, learn how to use social media sites, such as Facebook, responsibly, and always remember to “do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

No one can ever eliminate the possibility that they will become a victim of a cyberbully, however taking simple, practical steps such as these, and being alert online, can help decrease the risk. Let us know if you have any other cyberbullying prevention tips to share.

Written by Guest Blogger Stacy Pendarvis, MSW, MA of Pendarvis Consulting & Training and former Program Manager for MBF with over 16 years in the child safety and child abuse prevention field.

Internet INSECURITY

Many parents are already starting to feel that sense of dread as we move ever closer to the start of the school year.  For some it’s because those expensive school supply lists are beginning to arrive in the mailbox or inbox; for others because we dread the early morning departure or afternoon homework routines. But don’t count summer over just yet. And if your kids are bored, done with camps and vacations, maybe they’ve turned to the computer to fill some time.  If so, make sure you are watching their online activities.

With 90% of children between the ages of 5 and 17 using computers and 1 in 5 youth receiving unwanted sexual solicitations online*, it’s a fact that the Internet is a dangerous place for many children. Yet even more parents are unaware of the dangers faced daily by children online, and of those parents who are aware, they are unsure how to protect children.

So the Monique Burr Foundation for Children, Inc. decided we would help parents, professionals, and anyone interested.  When we joined Childhelp in the development of Speak Up Be Safe, we included Internet Safety and Cyberbullying as a part of the curriculum because of the importance of these topics in the lives of children and teens today.  And how great is it that others are taking notice and acting as well?

Facebook and Time Warner have joined forces to help stop cyberbullying, a real and dangerous threat facing youth today.  Read more about their Initiative, Stop Cyberbullying, Speak Up and their joint efforts here. 

http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.eschoolnews.com%2F2011%2F07%2F25%2Ffacebook-and-time-warner-join-to-stop-cyber-bullying%2F&h=YAQBqhSR-

And although Facebook rules require a teen to be 13 to create a profile, let’s not be that naïve – there are much younger kids on social networking sites and ALL parents need to be educated and vigilant.  Florida’s 1^st through 5^th grade students will learn Internet Safety and Cyberbullying prevention tips as Speak Up Be Safe sessions are implemented in all Florida public schools over the next 5 years.  But why wait? Parents, go to www.moniqueburrfoundation.org to download information and tips so you can become educated and empowered and teach your kids to be smarter and safer online now!

*http://kidsafe.com/freereports/Internet%20STATS%20Presented%20By%20CEN.pdf